Emotional Regulation Strategies and Activities for Kids
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice a feeling, understand it and respond in a way that fits the situation. Children are not born with this skill. They learn it over time, mostly through calm, supportive adults who help them regulate first.
Strategies and activities that help children build emotional regulation skills include:
- Name the feeling. Use simple words or a feelings chart so children can say how they feel.
- Co-regulate first. Stay calm and close, lower your voice and help the child settle before talking things through.
- Build a calm-down toolkit. Practise breathing, movement, sensory or quiet-space strategies when the child is already calm.
- Use visual supports. Colour-coded emotion scales help children notice when feelings are building.
- Keep routines predictable. Fewer surprises means fewer overwhelming moments.
- Celebrate small wins. Notice and praise each time the child uses a strategy.
This emotional regulation course uses the Rainbow of Emotions and CHARGE Toolbelt framework to teach these skills step by step at home and at school.
Emotional Dysregulation in Children: What It Looks Like and How to Respond
Emotional dysregulation is when a child's emotional reactions are much stronger, last longer or are harder to recover from than expected for their age. It can look like frequent meltdowns, aggression, crying, shutting down or refusing to engage.
Dysregulation is often linked to a nervous system on high alert, sensory processing differences, difficulty identifying feelings or conditions such as autism, ADHD, anxiety or trauma. In the moment, the most helpful response is to keep everyone safe, reduce demands and help the child calm down. Teaching new skills comes later, once the child is regulated.
The course provides 5 hours of accredited professional development for educators, and no prior knowledge is needed.
Addressing Emotional Dysregulation
This online course is designed to support children who experience strong, fast, or overwhelming emotional responses. Emotional dysregulation occurs when a child’s emotional reactions feel difficult to control, come on suddenly, or last longer than expected. If you’re unsure what this looks like in everyday life, here are some common signs.
Emotional dysregulation can appear in many different ways. A child may become tearful, angry, fearful, overwhelmed, or withdrawn very quickly, with reactions that seem “bigger” than the situation at hand. Some children suppress emotions, while others express them intensely. Many find it difficult to calm down once upset, or may move rapidly between emotional states — shifting from excited to frustrated, or from calm to overwhelmed — with very little warning.
You might also see behaviours such as outbursts during transitions, shutting down when demands feel too hard, becoming impulsive when emotions rise, or showing physical signs of distress like pacing, fidgeting, hiding, or leaving the room. These patterns signal that the child’s emotional balance is off and that they need predictable, structured support to feel safe and steady again.
Emotional dysregulation is a normal part of the human experience — everyone has moments where emotions feel too big. This course helps you recognise these moments early and respond in ways that build safety, connection, and long-term emotional resilience.
Underlying Causes of Emotional Regulation Difficulties
Emotional regulation challenges often stem from how a child’s brain, body, and nervous system process information, stress, and sensory input. These difficulties can affect relationships with peers, family, and educators and can significantly impact a child's daily functioning and wellbeing. For many children — particularly those with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD, anxiety, trauma histories, or other developmental differences — the nervous system works harder and reacts more intensely to everyday experiences. These responses are not behavioural choices; they are biological and neurodevelopmental processes shaped by differences in brain wiring, sensory processing, and stress pathways.
1. A Nervous System on High Alert
Some children have highly sensitive stress-response systems. Their sympathetic nervous system (the “fight, flight or freeze” system) activates quickly, even in response to seemingly small triggers such as a change in routine, unexpected noise, or demanding social situations.
When this system fires rapidly, the child experiences big feelings before they have time to think, pause, or use coping strategies. This heightened reactivity is a physiological response, not a deliberate behaviour.
2. Reduced Access to the “Thinking Brain” During Stress
When emotions escalate, the prefrontal cortex — responsible for problem-solving, self-control and flexible thinking — becomes less accessible.
For children with ASD, ADHD, anxiety, or trauma histories, this shift from the “thinking brain” to the “reactive brain” happens more quickly and takes longer to recover from. This makes it harder for them to slow down, reason through a situation, or regulate their behaviour in the moment.
3. Sensory Processing Differences
Many neurodivergent children experience sensory sensitivities or sensory seeking/avoidant patterns. Loud noises, bright lights, crowded environments, certain textures, or unexpected touch can overwhelm the nervous system.
When sensory input becomes too intense, the body responds as though it is under threat, which may lead to emotional outbursts, withdrawal, shutdown, or escape behaviours as protective responses.
4. Difficulty Identifying and Communicating Emotions
Some children — particularly those with ASD, language delays, or interoceptive challenges — find it harder to recognise internal body cues such as frustration, anxiety, or physical discomfort.
When emotions rise without being identified or communicated, they can escalate suddenly, resulting in reactions that seem “out of the blue”. This is not a lack of willingness but a difference in emotional awareness and communication capacity.
5. Executive Function Challenges
Executive functions (e.g., planning, organising, managing impulses, shifting attention) are closely linked to emotional control.
Children with ASD, ADHD, or trauma histories often experience difficulties in these areas. When executive function is overwhelmed — by stress, demands, or fatigue — emotional reactions can become quicker, more intense, and harder to manage.
6. Co-occurring Mental Health Conditions
Anxiety, depression, trauma, attachment challenges, or chronic stress can significantly reduce a child's window of tolerance.
When the nervous system is already working hard to manage underlying stress, even small challenges can feel overwhelming. Emotional dysregulation becomes a reflection of internal overload, not misbehaviour.
Understanding Emotional Regulation and Its Impact
Emotional regulation sits at the heart of emotional intelligence — the ability to recognise our own feelings, understand why they arise and respond in ways that support wellbeing and healthy relationships. For many children and adolescents, especially those with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, trauma histories or mental health conditions, this process is far more complex. Their capacity for self-awareness and emotional awareness may still be developing, or may function differently because of the way their brains and nervous systems process information.
When a child struggles to regulate, their body often gives early physiological warning signs: increased heart rate, heightened muscle tension, shallow breathing or a spike in blood pressure. These are signals that the nervous system has shifted into a stress response, even before any outward behaviour is visible. Without support, these physical changes can escalate quickly, leaving the child overwhelmed by negative feelings such as frustration, anxiety, anger, worry or sadness.
Stressful or demanding situations such as transitions, social conflict, sensory overload, academic pressure or unexpected changes, can further intensify these reactions. For young people who already finds it challenging to manage their emotions or understand what they are feeling, the experience can be frightening and confusing. They may lash out, withdraw, shut down or act impulsively, not because they are unwilling, but because their internal system is struggling to stay balanced.
These emotional patterns affect more than immediate behaviour. They influence a child’s overall wellbeing, sense of safety, confidence and ability to form trusting relationships with peers, educators, carers and family members. Teachers and healthcare professionals often observe how emotional dysregulation can impact learning, communication, social participation and resilience. When emotional dysregulation is persistent or interferes with daily life, seeking help from a healthcare provider is recommended.
This course equips you with a practical understanding of why these difficulties occur and how to respond with empathy and effective strategies. By supporting emotional intelligence, strengthening self-awareness and teaching children how to recognise their own internal cues, we can help them build healthier patterns of emotional regulation promoting wellbeing, positive behaviour and stronger relationships across home, school and community settings. The course is designed to help you lead children and adolescents toward improved emotional regulation using proven strategies.
Theories and Models of Emotional Regulation
Understanding emotional regulation begins with exploring the key concepts and models that explain how we manage our emotions. One widely recognized framework is the process model of emotion regulation, which breaks down the regulation process into several stages: situation selection, situation modification, attentional deployment, cognitive change, and response modulation. This model highlights that emotional regulation can occur at different points, from choosing which situations to enter, to changing how we think about an event, to managing our reactions in the moment. By recognizing these different points, parents, educators, and professionals can better support individuals in developing targeted regulation skills.
Another influential perspective is the polyvagal theory, which emphasizes the role of the autonomic nervous system in emotional balance. According to this theory, our nervous system’s responses—ranging from social engagement to fight-or-flight—play a crucial role in how we experience and regulate emotions. Social connection and self-soothing strategies are essential for helping individuals return to a state of calm and safety, especially for those with poor emotional regulation.
By understanding these foundational theories, you can more effectively support children and young people in managing emotions, building emotional regulation skills, and fostering environments that promote emotional balance and well-being.
Emotional Intelligence and Awareness
Emotional intelligence is at the core of effective emotional regulation. It refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in ourselves and others. Developing emotional intelligence means building self-awareness—being able to identify and name our feelings as they arise. This self-awareness is the first step in learning how to manage emotional responses, especially in stressful or challenging situations.
Emotional awareness, a key component of emotional intelligence, allows individuals to notice and label their emotions accurately. This skill is particularly important for children and young people, as it lays the foundation for healthy emotional regulation skills. When individuals can recognize negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, or sadness, they are better equipped to use practical strategies to manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
High emotional intelligence is linked to improved mental health, stronger relationships, and greater resilience in the face of life’s challenges. It can be developed through practice, training, and supportive guidance from mental health professionals, educators, and caregivers. By fostering emotional intelligence and awareness, we empower children and adults alike to understand their feelings, manage their emotions, and thrive in all areas of life.
Co-Regulation and Support
Co-regulation is a vital part of developing emotional regulation skills, especially for children and those learning to manage their emotions. It involves a supportive partnership where one person—such as a parent, teacher, or mental health professional—helps another navigate their emotional experiences. Through co-regulation, children learn how to calm their nervous system, process big feelings, and return to a state of emotional balance.
This process is especially important for children who may not yet have the skills to self-regulate. By providing consistent emotional support, modeling calm responses, and guiding children through stressful moments, adults help build the foundation for independent emotional regulation. In therapeutic settings, co-regulation allows clients to feel safe and supported as they practice new regulation skills and manage anxiety or stress.
Co-regulation is not just about managing difficult emotions—it’s about creating a sense of connection and trust. When children and clients feel supported, they are more likely to develop confidence in their ability to manage their emotions, leading to improved well-being and resilience in the face of life’s challenges.
Applying Emotional Regulation Skills
Putting emotional regulation skills into practice is essential for managing emotions, reducing chronic stress, and supporting overall well-being. These skills are valuable in everyday life, as well as in more challenging or stressful situations. Mindfulness is one of the most effective strategies for applying emotional regulation skills. By focusing on the present moment and observing thoughts and feelings without judgment, individuals can develop greater self-awareness and respond to negative emotions with calm and clarity.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is another evidence-based approach that teaches practical skills for emotional regulation, including mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional modulation. These techniques are especially helpful for individuals with mental health conditions such as autism spectrum disorder, anxiety, or those who have experienced trauma. By practicing these skills, individuals can reduce the impact of chronic stress, lower the risk of high blood pressure, and improve their ability to manage their emotions in a variety of settings.
In educational environments, teaching emotional regulation skills helps children learn how to cope with big feelings, stay grounded during transitions, and build positive relationships. In healthcare settings, these skills support clients in managing symptoms, navigating challenging situations, and enhancing their quality of life. By applying emotional regulation skills consistently, individuals of all ages can experience greater emotional balance, resilience, and well-being.
What is emotional regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to recognise, understand and manage emotions so a person can respond in a way that suits the situation. It is a skill children learn and practise over time.
What is co-regulation?
Co-regulation is when a calm adult helps a child settle by staying close, using a gentle voice and modelling calm. Children learn to regulate on their own through many experiences of co-regulation.
At what age can children learn emotional regulation skills?
Children start learning regulation skills in early childhood, and the skills keep developing into adolescence. The course covers strategies you can adapt to each age and stage.
Who is this emotional regulation course for?
The course is designed for parents, carers, teachers, education support staff, support workers and allied health professionals who support children and adolescents.
Is this course accredited?
Yes. Behaviour Help is a NESA and TQI accredited provider. The course provides 5 hours of professional development, and you will receive a certificate of completion at the end.
What is the Rainbow of Emotions framework?
Rainbow of Emotions is Dolly Bhargava's framework for helping children recognise and express their emotions. The course uses it, together with the CHARGE Toolbelt, to teach practical regulation skills.
How long does the course take, and how long do I have access?
The course takes about 5 hours to complete, including the video modules and the course book activities. It is self-paced, and you have 12 months from the date of purchase to complete it.
Is a book included with the course?
Yes. You receive a free copy of Dolly Bhargava's book, Taking Charge of my Rainbow of Emotions.
Can I use NDIS funding to pay for the course?
Yes. The course is suitable for NDIS funding, whether your plan is self-managed, plan-managed or NDIA-managed. To request an invoice, email dolly@behaviourhelp.com with the course name, your child's full name, their NDIS number and the NDIS line item you would like on the invoice.