Attention-seeking as part of normal development

Attention is a basic human need. Individuals of all ages seek out attention by saying or doing something that results in one or more adults and/or children providing some form of interaction. For example, a baby cries to signal to the parent that they are hungry, a child who walks up to the teacher and says ‘I need help with this’ or an upset teenager who walks up to her friend for a hug. This is attention seeking behavior.

The attention given by others – whether positive (e.g. looking, talking, playing, helping, laughing and comforting) or negative (e.g. scolding, yelling, criticising, shaming, lecturing) or none at all in response to the individual’s behaviour plays an important role in their survival, development and well-being.

Forms of attention-seeking behavior

Attention seeking behaviors can take many forms. It can be an individual constantly talking, seeking validation, making noises, raising a hand, clowning around, blurting out the need for someone to help, teach or watch them do something; tattling, provoking a confrontation, incessantly questioning, bullying or teasing, fishing for compliments, being argumentative, and telling fantastical stories or exaggerated unrealistic experiences.

Attention-seeking behavior of concern

Some children consistently exhibit attention-seeking behavior. Attention-seeking behavior becomes a concern when the following occur:

• the frequency (i.e. how often a child exhibits attention-seeking behavior) becomes excessive,
• the duration (i.e. how long each incident of the attention-seeking behavior lasts) becomes excessive,
• the intensity (i.e. the strength of the attention-seeking behavior) escalates from minor behaviors into extreme behaviors, and
• the attention-seeking behavior negatively impacts the child’s participation in activities, interaction with others, their day-to-day functioning and development.

Causes of attention-seeking behavior

To understand what is underlying the attention-seeking behavior it is important to not dismiss it as mere annoyance or manipulation, instead to approach with curiosity, empathy and understanding to reframe the way the behavior is viewed. Here are some potential reasons for attention-seeking behavior:

1.     Emotional needs: The individual might be experiencing feelings of loneliness, insecurity, or inadequacy, seeking validation and connection from others.

2.     Unmet needs: Attention-seeking behaviour can stem from unmet physical or emotional needs, such as hunger, lack of affection, or unresolved trauma.

3.     Low self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem may seek constant validation from others to feel worthy or accepted.

4.     Communication difficulties: Some people may lack effective communication skills and resort to attention-seeking behaviour as a way to express their needs or frustrations or gain social interaction.

5.     Mental health issues: Conditions like anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can manifest through attention-seeking actions.

6.     Past experiences: Previous experiences of neglect, abuse, or abandonment can lead individuals to crave attention as a way to feel secure and valued.

Impact of attention-seeking behavior

When a child begins to persistently exhibit attention-seeking behaviour of concern, the climate of the context (e.g. childcare, early childhood, primary and secondary school, disability support and youth services) can change dramatically. A considerable amount of time and energy can be spent on the child showing the attention-seeking behaviour, which can have a deleterious effect on the quality of the learning experience for all the children. Research consistently shows that managing behaviour is linked to staff experiencing high levels of stress, burnout and job dissatisfaction.

Hence, attention-seeking behaviour affects everyone involved and the child who is seeking attention requires necessary help to learn positive ways of behaving and managing their emotions.

The impact of attention-seeking behavior can vary depending on the context, the individual involved, and how it is perceived by others. Dealing with someone who craves attention all the time can be exhausting and challenging. Here are some potential impacts:

1. Strained relationships: Constant attention-seeking behavior can strain relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Others may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or manipulated, leading to distancing or conflict.

2. Negative attention: Attention-seeking behavior may attract negative attention or criticism, reinforcing a cycle of seeking validation through disruptive means.

3. Isolation: In some cases, attention-seeking behavior can backfire, leading to social isolation as others become reluctant to engage or interact due to the perceived neediness or drama.

4. Underlying issues remain unaddressed: Continuous attention-seeking behavior may mask underlying emotional or psychological issues that require attention and support. If these issues are not addressed, they can persist and worsen over time.

5. Self-esteem dependency: Individuals who rely heavily on external validation through attention-seeking may struggle to develop a strong sense of self-esteem and self-worth independent of others' opinions.

6. Stunted personal growth: Excessive attention-seeking behavior can hinder personal growth and development, as individuals may prioritise seeking attention over pursuing meaningful goals or relationships.

7. Impact on mental health: Attention-seeking behavior can be a symptom or coping mechanism for underlying mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or personality disorders. Without proper intervention, these issues can exacerbate and lead to further distress.

8. Reinforcement of maladaptive behaviors: If attention-seeking behaviors consistently results in the desired attention or outcomes, it can reinforce maladaptive patterns and make it more challenging to break free from them in the future.

9. Misinterpretation of intentions: Others may misinterpret attention-seeking behaviors, attributing negative motives such as manipulation or insincerity, which can damage trust and relationships.

10. Impact on well-being: Both the individual exhibiting attention-seeking behaviors and those around them may experience increased stress, anxiety, and overall decreased well-being due to the ongoing dynamics and tensions associated with it.

Strategies to address attention-seeking behaviors

Addressing attention-seeking behavior involves understanding the underlying cause and providing appropriate support:

• Empathy and understanding: Approach the individual with empathy, acknowledging their feelings and struggles without judgment.

• Establish boundaries: While offering support, it's crucial to set healthy boundaries to prevent enabling or reinforcing negative behavior patterns.

• Encourage positive attention-seeking: Reinforce positive behaviors and provide opportunities for the individual to gain attention through constructive means, such as sharing achievements or engaging in hobbies.

• Promote self-esteem and independence: Encourage activities that boost self-esteem and foster independence, helping the individual develop a sense of self-worth beyond external validation.

• Seek professional help: If the behaviour persists or significantly impacts the individual's well-being, consider seeking guidance from behaviour support professionals who can provide tailored support and interventions in the form of positive behaviour support (PBS).  

Positive behaviour support for attention seeking behaviour

Positive Behaviour Support (PBS) focuses on evidence-based strategies and person-centred supports that address the needs of the individual and the underlying causes of behaviours of concern, to enhance the quality of life for both the individual and those that support them.

PBS recognises that there is no single cause for attention-seeking behavior. It is a complex behavior that is a product of the interaction between multiple factors contributing to its development and persistence.

Attention-seeking behavior is like the tip of the iceberg so it is essential to look beneath the surface to work out the why before we can address the problem. To understand attention-seeking behavior we need to firstly, experience the situation from the child's point of view. Secondly,  consider the underlying emotion behind the attention-seeking behavior (e.g. anxiety, jealousy, boredom, sadness, confusion, frustration or feeling insecure) and thirdly, recognise that the child may have difficulties with controlling and regulating their behaviour in the moment due to feeling overwhelmed by their emotions.  Hence, PBS addreses attention-seeking behavior by utilising a compassionate and holistic approach that addresses the individual's underlying needs and supports their journey towardsl well-being.

Is it a sign of a neurodevelopmental condition?

The behavior of neuodiverse children can be perceived as attention seeking behavior by others. For example, a person with ADHD may excessively talk, constantly interrupt others and appear not to listen which maybe interpreted as though they are seeking attention.

Attention-Seeking Behavior - Case Study

Lucy is a 27-year-old woman who is diagnosed with an Intellectual disability, Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy and Acquired Brain Injury.  Lucy lives with 4 other residents in shared accommodation.

Lucy uses vocalisations, gestures, facial expressions and body movements to express her needs, wants and feelings. Lucy is dependent on the communication partner to acknowledge, interpret and respond to her communication signals. This at times can be challenging for familiar staff as they are not always able to interpret and assign meaning to her communication signals accurately. Lucy understands simple language relating to the here and now and relating to familiar routines.

Her behaviours of concern include entering other resident's bedrooms without permission; being physically aggressive towards others - scratching, biting, pulling hair, kicking, grabbing; flopping and lying on the floor; and damaging and throwing various household items. 

Hypothesised externalised triggers include:

• When she is seeking 1:1 attention from staff and they are unavailable to provide it as they are supporting other residents.
• When Lucy is provided 1:1 support but she prefers a specific staff member who is unavailable at the time.
• When she is prevented from entering staff personal space.
• When staff are interacting with other person/s in her vicinity without including her.
• When she is not engaged in an activity

Hypothesised internalised triggers that are not obvious and difficult to observe that may also be triggering the behaviour are related to Lucy’s background (i.e., adverse childhood experiences, moving between residences and diagnoses).  These factors affect the processes within herself i.e., self-esteem, self-image or self-meaning; perceiving real or imagined rejection or criticism; somatisation and persistent emotionally instability (i.e., feeling irritable, anxious, sad, happy within a few minutes).

Functions of Attention-Seeking Behavior

Hypothesised function of the behaviour include:

• Gain social interaction - Lucy’s preference is to have 1:1 interaction with a support person for most of the day.  Lucy exhibits behaviour of concern as an attempt to communicate her need to seek company, connection and interaction with another person.
• Gain activity/tangible – Tara will use her behaviours of concern to gain activity/items.

Positive Behavior Support Strategies for Attention-Seeking Behavior

Some of the preventative strategies outlined in her positive behaviour support plan include: 

1.     Chat-time/ Special time

It is important to establish a regular schedule for attention each day, especially as adults do get very busy and caught up in what they are doing often limiting the amount of interaction that they can provide. Predictability can help reduce Lucy's anxiety of when she will get 1:1 attention and / or interaction and will hopefully reduce the need for attention seeking behaviour.  Set aside the same time everyday for special time.

2.     Intermittent Attention

Intermittent attention involves short burst of attention directed towards Lucy when you are busy. Approach Lucy about every 15 minutes for a brief comment, a pat on the back, a wave, a smile or a gesture.

3.     Praise or Positive attention

Always praise and give attention to Lucy engaging in expected behaviours. This increases the likelihood of it happening again by providing reinforcement for appropriate behaviour rather than behaviour of concern. 

4.     Create Choices

Provide Lucy with opportunities throughout the day to make choices by providing her with 2 or 3 options. This will help Lucy feel empowered by giving her some control over her environment.

5.     Balanced Schedule

Put together a schedule that provides Lucy with opportunities to engage in activities she likes, participate in community-based activities, varied activities at home, engage with her co-residents and have relaxation time.

Positive behaviour support resource

Based on the evidence-based Positive Behaviour Support (PBS) approach, this user-friendly guide, A for Attention-Seeking, will help you develop a comprehensive PBS plan step-by-step. You will learn how to do the following:

1. Determine the reasons for the attention-seeking behaviour (assess),

2. Respond appropriately when the attention-seeking behaviour occurs (manage), and

3. Minimise or eliminate the occurrence of attention-seeking behaviour (prevent).

Use the practical tools (checklists, forms, and strategies) provided to develop comprehensive PBS plans that can be used to support children of all ages consistently in all contexts. This invaluable resource is useful for parents, childcare educators, early childhood workers, primary and secondary school educators, supervisory, allied health professionals, and mental health professionals.